A life of solitude
from The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to lotrmemes@midwest.social on 29 Oct 12:54
https://lemmy.world/post/21402485

#lotrmemes

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Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee on 29 Oct 13:53 next collapse

Friendzone level…

Blackout@fedia.io on 29 Oct 14:05 next collapse

According to Amazon Prime she wants Elrond bad but he dun wan it!

Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 15:06 collapse

He does now. Which is weird since A) she’s already got guy, and B) cause Elrond ends up with her daughter

kandoh@reddthat.com on 29 Oct 15:17 collapse

Hot

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 29 Oct 14:11 next collapse

Gandalfy literally went away to chill peacefully for eons with his spicy ring.

Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 15:17 collapse

And Gandalf wasn’t alone. He was banging little Hobbit chicks for ages

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 29 Oct 15:19 next collapse

And we all know where he wore the ring.

Lemminary@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 23:37 collapse

Oh god, now I have the image of Gandalf’s scrawny ass with a pencil dick

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 30 Oct 05:00 collapse

*with a pencil dick on fire

Just sitting there, winking at you, asking if you want to smoke

toast@retrolemmy.com on 29 Oct 21:54 collapse

Filthy hobbitses

ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works on 29 Oct 14:19 next collapse

Galadriel and Celeborn were married in the First Age and the story takes place at the end of the Third, so they were married for at least six and a half thousand years. During that time, they had one child. How often do you think they had sex?

loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works on 29 Oct 14:29 next collapse

All Celeborn has is Teleporno.

rustydomino@lemmy.world on 30 Oct 06:25 collapse

I does my heart good to see more Silmarillion memes leak into lotrmemes.

BumpingFuglies@lemmy.zip on 29 Oct 14:56 next collapse

To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can’t blame him for being celibate.

tenacious_mucus@sh.itjust.works on 29 Oct 15:32 next collapse

AkShUaLlY…. It’s pronounced “Kel-a-born”….but I still applaud your humor!

Most, if not all c’s are pronounced as hard K’s in Elvish (Elven?) languages.

It does get a little weird with places like Cirith Ungol, but there are, allegedly, older maps where it’s spelled Kirith.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social on 29 Oct 16:29 collapse

No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he’s a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.

Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.

Letstakealook@lemm.ee on 29 Oct 18:20 next collapse

It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social on 29 Oct 18:30 next collapse

Fair enough, but I think we can agree that Tolkien elves were bad at planning

herrvogel@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 18:48 next collapse

There’s the Elven Rope that’s light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that’s thin and impermeable.

MutilationWave@lemmy.world on 30 Oct 06:08 collapse

I’m sure they had them, but they’re incompatible. Can’t make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.

dragonfucker@lemmy.nz on 30 Oct 01:51 collapse

He could have just given them all narrow urethras like Hank Hill

Pips@lemmy.sdf.org on 29 Oct 23:19 collapse

Some would say 40k maybe went a little too far in the opposite direction with dark elves.

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works on 30 Oct 06:17 collapse

Thats weirdly more of a Warhammer fantasy hold over what with dommy mommy Morathi, mind you unlike the Aeldar they didnt murderfuck orgy Slaanesh into existance.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social on 30 Oct 13:02 collapse

So they say…

jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 19:33 next collapse

Successfully millions of times, unsuccessfully once.

Snowclone@lemmy.world on 30 Oct 04:14 next collapse

Dude it’s elves who knows. She also slowes the passage of time by like MONTHS for a day, on top of being immortal it’s pretty obnoxious. Maybe they only plow once a 1000 years, or maybe it’s every day and they are only fertile once in thousands of years.

RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world on 30 Oct 05:59 collapse

Once.

But elf sex is crazy weird. Like, they were still doing it while Frodo and the Fellowship were there.

ekZepp@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 14:30 next collapse

Rude.

mindbleach@sh.itjust.works on 29 Oct 16:00 next collapse

He’s got a whole crew, Kale! I’m obviously speaking metaphorically!

Crackhappy@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 16:05 collapse

They did Celeborn so dirty in the movies.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social on 29 Oct 16:28 collapse

At least he’s in the movies, AMAZON.

Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 16:39 collapse

2nd to last episode of this season pissed me off…

CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 21:35 next collapse

🌞

chuckleslord@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 21:56 next collapse

… why would you keep watching after season 1 when it was super clear they had no idea what to do with this project?

Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world on 29 Oct 22:05 collapse

Curiosity, but at this point this show is entirely a bad fanfiction and has zero respect for the source material

Artyom@lemm.ee on 30 Oct 03:26 collapse

You made it all the way to the 2nd to last episode of season 2?